Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Today was a very hard day, we had our follow-up appointment with Dr. Hicks, we found out that DH doesn't produce sperm, at least not enough to show up in either of the 2 semen analysis performed last week. We have been referred to a Urologist at UAB who specializes in male infertility, Dr. Peter Kolettis. I'm not sure what the future holds for us, I'm terrified that we'll never have children. I'm willing to do whatever it takes but I'm not so sure DH is. I've cried alot, he's not shown many emotions but I know it is a huge burden for him to bear. Our appointment with Dr. Kolettis is December 14, 2011 @ 10am...the day before DH's 22nd birthday. I almost regret making him have the semen analysis done now, I know it had to be done eventually though & it's probably better that we found out before we got much older...I just feel awful. This is something no couple should ever have to go through. I feel so confused, angry, sad, & helpless...I know he probably does too. I'm trying so hard not to be angry with God, I know He has a plan, we just have to remain faithful & follow whatever path He lays before us. I really wanted us to experience the joy & miracle of pregnancy, there's a good chance that won't ever happen though. For as long as I can remember, Anthony has wanted children of his own, I want him to have them so badly it hurts.